We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
