last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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