So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize