Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize