Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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