I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
