i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize