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• (818): View more from California

  people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I skipped work to stalk him.

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• (281): View more from Texas

  I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (949): View more from California

  I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried

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• (559): View more from California

  I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.

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