does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?