oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.