is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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