You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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