His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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