Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Randomize
