i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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