Screwed.edu
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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