just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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