im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
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