He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
My vagina is very pro this idea
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