btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
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