I heard we made out
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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