The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
