she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
