Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
