TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
