The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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