Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
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To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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