Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
