Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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