I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
