Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
