I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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