all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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