no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
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We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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