Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
