my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
