Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
