Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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