I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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