Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
