I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
