As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
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Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
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My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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