WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
