I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
