I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
