I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
