let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
