It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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