A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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