It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Princesses don't give blow jobs
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
