before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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