I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
