Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Did you pee in the oven last night??
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize