I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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