All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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