as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
