I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
