she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
