Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
