We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
