You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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