I'm eating all of the evidence.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
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doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
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It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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