i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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