I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
and you fell through a lawn chair
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize