a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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